1. kelekelo:

    megapyon:

    ʖ haha got ur nose

    ( ͡°_ ͡°)

    (via ohmyshark)

    1 hour ago  /  343,560 notes  /  Source: satan1ck

  2. (via ohmyshark)

    1 hour ago  /  250 notes  /  Source: weheartit.com

  3. moltres:

    overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

    image

    (via ohmyshark)

    1 hour ago  /  386,800 notes  /  Source: moltres

  4. a-long-time-ago-on-gallifrey:

    deaths-impala:

    iveneverhadnutella:

    This guy in my class likes to think he’s the only one who knows about tumblr
    When a girl messed up her presentation he literally held up a drawn star that said ‘you tried’ and said to me “you probably won’t get it it’s an Internet thing.”

    please say you slapped him

    im just gonna keep reblogging this until he finds it

    hes here somewhere

    (via ohmyshark)

    1 hour ago  /  312,053 notes  /  Source: shinyjpg

  5. 1 hour ago  /  940 notes  /  Source: didyouknowgaming.com

  6. 1 hour ago  /  440,676 notes  /  Source: sexyyuglyy

  7. 1 hour ago  /  324 notes  /  Source: there-is-a-sora

  8. isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

    isolatedartisan:

    italyans:

    nasdaq:

    #FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

    this is it.

    THIS IS FUCKING IT.

    AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

    THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

    BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

    NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

    WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

    Tumblr users should never make infomercials

    (via if-lost-ask-directions)

    20 hours ago  /  83,952 notes  /  Source: nasdaq

  9. perilousseas:

    equiuszahhot:

    do you ever hear a line in a song and it’s just so painfully clever you just sit there in shock for the remainder of the song

    (via terri312)

    20 hours ago  /  493,427 notes  /  Source: mangacartaholygrail

  10. gavinscreamingmichaelyelling:

time-is-a-many-splendored-thing:

douglasmurphy:

rainbowcoffin:

c-h-0-w:

nightwife:

Always reblog

Woah

well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happensounds to me like he was asking for it

Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know. 

If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck

I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that.

    gavinscreamingmichaelyelling:

    time-is-a-many-splendored-thing:

    douglasmurphy:

    rainbowcoffin:

    c-h-0-w:

    nightwife:

    Always reblog

    Woah

    well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happen
    sounds to me like he was asking for it

    Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know. 

    If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck

    I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that.

    (via terri312)

    20 hours ago  /  309,131 notes  /  Source: suzziepsyche

  11. photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    20 hours ago  /  185,342 notes  /  Source: toodutchforyou

  12. kurgs:

    skeletongrazed:

    skeletongrazed:

    what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

    one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

    #i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

    (via if-lost-ask-directions)

    20 hours ago  /  88,588 notes  /  Source: skeletongrazed

  13. kimpissible:

    THERE IS ACTUALLY NOT A BETTER FEELING THEN TO HAVE A BESTFRIEND WHO ALSO THINKS OF U AS THEIR BESTFRIEND

    (via thefatlady)

    20 hours ago  /  354,855 notes  /  Source: kimpissible

  14. pablostanley:

A simple guide to know what the hell you are.

    pablostanley:

    A simple guide to know what the hell you are.

    (via thefatlady)

    20 hours ago  /  6,738 notes  /  Source: pablostanley

  15. awwww-cute:

"Pudding" is a resident Fox at the National Fox Welfare Society, as he’s too friendly to be released back to the wild

    awwww-cute:

    "Pudding" is a resident Fox at the National Fox Welfare Society, as he’s too friendly to be released back to the wild

    (via rainbowmartian)

    21 hours ago  /  48,183 notes  /  Source: awwww-cute